Why Kate Wants Off the Island
by Princess Serena IV
Summary: A Sayid/Kate Romance
1. Chapter 1

Why Kate Wants Off The Island

Disclaimer:I do not own these characters

Warning: This is a Sayid and Kate pairing. Fans of Sawyer/Kate and Jack/Kate should turn back now

Chapter 1

Kate stared wistfully at the dark sky. It was a clear night and the dark sky was filled with stars. Rousseau had scouted ahead and would

meet them tomorrow. Locke had gone off to do who knew what. She was seriously beginning to distrust that man. She had found him a bit

odd from the moment she met him, but this was beyond odd. This was edging toward dangerous. She glanced over at Sayid who was

rearranging his bandages. She smiled a little. She was glad Sayid had come with her to rescue Jack. If there was one person on this island

she trusted with her life it was him. He was always so calm and levelheaded even in the face of crisis. He did not let his emotions govern

his decisions like Jack did, he acted for the good of the group and not himself unlike Sawyer, and unlike Locke she never doubted his

sanity. Also, he listened to her when she just needed to talk. Her past did not alienate him like many others on the island. Having

committed his share of crimes in his life, he did not cast stones at her. Also, unlike Jack, he never tried to hold her back when she tried to

help. With Sayid she could simply be herself. She did not have to prove anything to him and when he said something to her she never

found herself questioning what he really meant.

"How's the arm?" she asked. He smiled wryly.

"I've had worse," he said. "How's the jaw?" She lifted a hand to the bruise where the one eyed Russian had clocked her. She shrugged.

"I've had worse," she said. He nodded and continued to fuss with the bandages.

"Let me," she said standing and moving to his side. He dropped his hand and allowed her to tend to his wound.

"Well," she said. "I'll say one thing for our Russian friend, he knows how to stitch up a bullet wound."

"That he inflicted," Sayid said bitterly. Kate grimaced as she retrieved a fresh bandage from her pack.

"You know when the plane started to go down all I could think of was getting out of those handcuffs. Escaping," she said thoughtfully as

she wrapped the gauze around Sayid's bicep. He did not answer but stared at her thoughtfully.

"And then when I was in the Others camp," she said her voice breaking just a little. "All I could think was that the federal penitentiary

would be better than this because at least I would have actually done something to deserve it." She finished dressing the wound and

turned away so he would not see her trembling.

"Kate," he said gently.

"We didn't do anything to them!" Kate snapped. "We landed on their island, that's it. They spied on us, they killed our people, they stole a

ten year old boy off a raft, they kidnapped a pregnant woman and did God knows what to her, they hung Charlie from a tree, they drove

Michael to kill two women, and they kidnapped Jack and Sawyer and I just so they could use us to get what they wanted. To save that

worthless assholes life!" She was shaking by now. Sayid wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her shoulder. Kate sighed against him. It

was amazing how without speaking a word he could calm her racing pulse.

"What gives them the right to treat other human beings this way?" she muttered.

"They don't have the right," Sayid said. "They are monsters. It is as simple as that."

"I'm not religious, Sayid," Kate said softly laying her head against his shoulder. "But I wonder sometimes if maybe I'm being punished for

my crimes."

"If you are, then all the rest of us are as well," Sayid said sadly. "No one on this island is completely free of sin. Well, except perhaps

Aaron." Kate chuckled a little and then she sighed.

"It's funny," she said, "we've been stuck here eighty plus days and in all that time you're the only one I haven't lied to. All the lies I've told

since I killed my father. I've gone by at least five names since I was twenty years old. Some of the people on this island whom I've come to

call my friends don't know why I was put on Oceanic 815 in handcuffs. All these secrets and lies and I've have never lied to you. Not once."

Sayid rubbed her shoulder.

"I have never lied to you either. You are the only person in the world that has that claim. The crimes you have committed in your past, they

are not what define you. I believe it is what we do now, in our present that truly define us. That is why of all the saints and sinners on this

island you are the only one that has earned my complete trust." Kate smiled even as tears fell from her eyes. No one had ever said these

words to her. I love you, I like you, I hate you, I care about you, but never I trust you. They sat in companionable silence for a few

minutes.

"May I ask you something?" Sayid asked breaking the silence.

"Sure," Kate said.

"When you said, "We have to get Jack back, I owe him that," what did you mean?" Kate sighed. She didn't like thinking about it but she

knew since Sayid was risking his neck trekking across the jungle, and he'd already be injured, she owed him an explanation. "He's a

doctor," Kate said. "Do no harm, it's his code, the one he lives by. He put Ben, his patient, in danger so they would let us go. He

compromised his moral ethics to save us. I don't know what kind of repercussions they have for him, but he put everything on the line to

get us out. After what I did…" she paused and looked away.

"What did you do, Kate?" Sayid asked gently. Kate let out an anguished sigh. She could tell him. He would not judge her. But yet she did

not want him to know. She was quite disgusted with herself for sleeping with Sawyer. She had believed that they were never going to get

out. She had regretted it the instant it was over. She felt nauseated when she thought of it now and she had the overwhelming need to

scrub herself raw.

"You do not have to tell me," Sayid said taking her hand and running his thumb over her palm. "But I can see that it is weighing heavily on

your shoulders." Kate sighed again and stared down at her hands.

"I slept with Sawyer," she said so softly that she was not sure he had heard her.

"I see," he said his voice sounding funny.

"The second it was over I wanted to undo it. Even when it was happening it just felt so wrong. But I just felt so helpless and so trapped

and I was certain we were never going to get out of there. God, how could I do that!" Tears fell from her eyes and she buried her face in

her hand. She felt his arms surround her and pull her against his strong chest. She let herself cry against his shoulder, not embarrassed,

never with him.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of," he said rubbing her back. "You were reacting to a situation where you felt you had no control.

Though I must say your choice in men leaves much to be desired." She laughed. How did he do that? How did he always know what to say

to make her feel better? She pulled away and ran a hand across her eyes.

"Story of my life," she said. "I always seem to choose the bad boy. The one time I didn't I had to leave him. Even though I tell myself it was

for his sake, that his position as a cop would have been compromised, deep down I know it's bullshit. The truth is that he was so, good, so

decent that I knew I would never be good enough for him." She laughed wryly. God, wasn't that just the exact way she would describe

her relationship with Jack. He was so good, so noble, and he did care about her. But she could never live up to his nobility.

"Perhaps you are too hard on yourself," Sayid said. Kate shook her head. Sayid cupped her chin and forced her to look at him.

"I have known many bad people in my time. They all try to justify what they do but the truth is that they are just evil. You are not a bad

person Kate. You are one of the bravest, strongest, noblest people I have ever had the privlidge to know. Men like Jack and Sawyer, and

this man you were married to, it is they that do not deserve you." Kate sniffled and ran a hand over her eyes.

"Then who does?" she asked wryly. Sayid shook his head.

"I know of no man who is deserving of such a treasure," he said with a smile. Kate smiled a little.

"Not even you?" she asked a bit shyly. Sayid looked down.

"Least of all me," Sayid said his voice sounding sad. Kate gazed at him very carefully. He was so close to her. She could feel his breath on

her shoulder. The light from the fire reflected off his bronze skin. He was so beautiful in an almost mystical way. How a man such as he

could call her a treasure was beyond her knowledge. She looked down at her right hand, the same hand he had kissed the day he left the

beach after torturing Sawyer. She remembered how her hand had tingled for many long minutes after he had disappeared and how her

heart had ached as she watched him go. She met his eyes now, black as coal and so deep she felt she was drowning. He was close now,

just a breath away. The moment was familiar, the moment of choice where she had to decide to retreat or plummet. She had plummeted

once and it had left her feeling empty and small. Another time she had plummeted and it left her feeling full of shame and self-loathing.

Somehow she knew, in this moment, that this plummet would only make her feel whole. He hesitated just a moment. Giving her the choice

to retreat if she wanted to. As she leaned forward and let her lips touch his she felt herself falling. His hand came up and wrapped around

the back of her head. His tongue slid along the crease of her lips and she willingly parted them. She wrapped her arms around his neck

pulling him closer, needing to feel his body. He pushed her hair away from her neck so he could trail his lips down her neck to her shoulder,

kissing and gently sucking at the tender skin there.

"Oh God," she moaned. "Don't stop." He continued his ministrations to her neck as her hands fisted in his hair. This felt so right. He was

setting every nerve in her body on fire. She wanted more, needed more. But she was afraid. Afraid to take what she wanted. She did not

want to ruin this as she had ruined everything else that mattered to her. This was too important. He solved her dilemma for her as his

fingers slid beneath her shirt. His hands on her skin were so strong and firm and she wanted them on every part of her. He lifted his eyes

to hers seeking permission. She nodded. He lifted her shirt over her head and flung it into the grass. She gazed into his eyes as he

lowered her onto her back. He was over her now lips crashing down on hers as her breasts filled his hands. Her heart was roaring in her

ears. She wanted to feel his skin. Tentatively, she slid her hands down to where his shirt met his pants. She slid her fingers beneath his

shirt slowly. He jumped as her fingers met his skin and she yanked her hands back as though a snake had bit her. She stared up at him as

he met her eyes, waiting, wanting him to lead. She did not have to be in control with him. She trusted him to lead her. He smiled down at

her and quickly pulled off his own shirt. He was beautiful. He took her hand and placed it over his heart. His was pounding as hard as hers.

She sat up slowly and pressed her lips to his neck just above the pulse point. She heard him groan and continued to kiss his neck. His

arms wrapped around her waist and crushed her breasts against his hard chest. The rest of everything faded away as he held her in his

strong arms. She could feel a deep burning between her legs as he lowered his head and took her breast into his mouth. She leaned her

head back and closed her eyes giving herself over to the waves of pleasure he was making her ride. She gasped when his hands found

their way into her pants and found their way to her special place. She buried her face in his neck as his fingers stroked and teased her.

"Sayid!" she gasped as he drove her over the edge. She gasped, clinging to him, her lifeline, the only thing that was keeping her from

floating away. He lowered her onto her back and slowly peeled off her pants. For a long moment he just stared at her. She suddenly felt

embarrassed. She turned her head away but his hand cupped her face and she met his eyes.

"Beautiful," he whispered. Tears pricked her eyes but these were tears of joy. She wanted him so badly. But he was not done. She closed

her eyes again, just feeling the wonderful sensations as his lips trailed from her belly down her thighs. Her fingers dug into the grass as

her tenderly kissed her inner thighs and all around her moist center, slowly driving her mad from the pleasure. Her back arched and her

head came off the ground as he went down on her. Licking, and nibbling, he was slowly driving her over the edge. She needed him inside

her. She was certain she would go mad if he did not enter her soon. He was merciful and did not make her wait long. He held her face in

his hands and looked into her eyes.

"Are you certain?" he asked. He was still giving her a chance to back out. She smiled at him and stroked his lips with the pad of her thumb.

"Absolutely," she said. He shed his pants and she saw his glorious body, hard and dark. She saw that he was just as aroused as her. He

was big. She bit her lip. This would hurt, but it would be so worth it. He lay over top of her and met her eyes.

"I'm ready," she whispered. He kissed her deeply as he slid into her with one smooth stroke. It was magnificent. She felt so full, so

complete as he moved inside her. She lifted her legs and wrapped them around his hips pulling him deeper inside of her. He buried his face

in her neck and her fists clutched his hair.

"Oh Kate," he gasped in her ear. "My sweet beautiful Kate."

"Sayid!" she cried. She couldn't hold on. It was just too much.

"Come with me," he whispered into her ear. They both screamed as they fell over the edge. Kate clung to him. Keeping him with her until

every last drop of pleasure was spent.

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Sayid was aware of only two things when he awoke the next morning. One, the woman he had spent last night making love to was laying

beside him, and two he felt happier than he could remember feeling in his whole life. He didn't know when he had fallen in love with her.

Perhaps it had been in that first moment when she had stormed onto the beach when he and Sawyer had been fighting and simply asked

if anyone knew how to fix the transceiver. While trying to fix that radio and send out a distress signal a friendship had been formed. They

had grown to be each other's confidants. So many nights they would just sit on the beach and talk. She had confided in him that she was

a fugitive and that she had killed the man who had abused her as a child. That her mother had chosen that man over her. Everything she

told him didn't seem to match the woman he saw. They had bonded over the fact that both of them had sins in their past that they were

trying to escape from. She had listened when he told her of the things he had done in the Republican Guard. He had never confessed

these things to anyone but with her he had wanted no secrets. She had not looked at him with disgust, like so many did just because of

where he came from. She had looked at him and told him that none of it mattered, that on this island, none of what happened before

mattered. After he had nearly killed Sawyer when he had lied about Shannon's inhalers the way she had looked at him had torn him apart.

He had not left because he was ashamed of what he did, he had left because he couldn't face her. She had begged him to stay and he

nearly had. When he had returned it was as though it never happened. They were friends again. Those days when she had been held by

the Others had been torture for him. Not knowing if she was alive, what they were doing to her. When she walked onto the beach safe,

alive if a little worse for wear was a reprieve from hell. When she had declared her intentions to go back for Jack it was though his heart

were being ripped out again. He had seen in her eyes that there would be no stopping her when she said she was going. He had needed

to come along, to protect her because he had failed to save her before. His plans to take one of the Others hostage had not only failed

but he had put Jin and Sun in danger. As much as it tortured him he could not go after her again, he was needed back on the beach. Locke

had insisted coming along though he was uncertain as to the man's intentions he had been to determined to catch up with her that he

had not questioned the man. He wondered now if that were a mistake, given Locke's recent behavior. He did not want to think about that

now. He only wanted to think about this woman and the magic he had felt when he made love to her. She had been so warm last night, so

open. It had surprised him how tentative she had been. He sincerely hoped she did not regret it as she did with Sawyer. But it was not

the same. Her eyes were fluttering open now. She blinked and gazed up at him.

"Good morning," he said. She smiled, a little uncertainly.

"We should…"

"Don't say last night was a mistake," she said clutching his arm panic in her eyes. "Please don't say that it was a mistake and it will never

happen again." He looked down at her in shock. She believed he regretted it. He gently stroked her forehead.

"It was not a mistake," he said softly. He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her palm. "What we shared last night was very special. As

for it never happening again, I sincerely hope that is not true. Once we have rescued Jack I hope that we will have many repeats of last

night. I was merely going to say we should get up and get dressed. Locke could be back at any moment." She grinned and lifted her head

to kiss him. They got to their feet and found their clothes. Locke returned as they finished getting dressed. They packed up and continued

their journey to save Jack.


	2. Chapter 2

Why Kate Wants Off The Island

Disclaimer: These characters are not mine

Chapter 2

Screwing up really was the story of her life she thought, as she sat on the beach watching Jack talking and laughing with Juliet. She didn't know which was worse, knowing that he hated her now or that he was with that woman. That woman who had helped Ben hold her and Sawyer hostage, who had held a gun on her, who had probably assisted Ethan in whatever had been done to Claire. Just because she had been left behind suddenly she and Jack were best of pals. It tore her up when she remembered how Jack had looked at her and then at Juliet when she and the other woman had returned from their little escapade in the jungle. She had realized sometime ago that her feelings for Jack were not romantic. But she did respect and admire him and she felt that he had at least a small amount of respect for her. And now that was gone along with their chances of getting off this island. If only she would have listened to him when he said not to come back for him. She should have known that he would have a plan. Her eyes wondered the beach searching for Sayid. He was nowhere to be seen. They had not talked much since leaving the Barracks. She did not blame him really. Why would he want anything to do with her now? He'd warned her hadn't he, that they should leave, that Jack didn't want to be rescued. Because of her Sayid had been shot and taken prisoner by them. She felt a dull ache in her chest as she remembered the night they had spent together. It had been everything she had ever dreamed of. He'd made her feel alive as she hadn't felt in a long time. But of course she had screwed it up, just like she did every good thing that ever came along. She glanced up at the sky, which had turned dark. She felt the rain soak her hair and shirt and with a last sigh of misery stood up and went to her tent. She stepped inside and let out a yelp when she saw him sitting on her bed.

"Forgive me," he said. "I did not mean to startle you. But I think it's time we talked." His tone was gentle and his voice soft. God he was so beautiful. She felt cold all of a sudden and rubbed her arms.

"Please sit," he said kindly holding out his hand to her. With an anguished sigh she took his hand and let him pull her down beside him. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. Tears fell from her eyes as she trembled.

"I am so sorry," she whispered.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" he asked. His gentle tone was almost too much to bear. She wanted him to get mad, to yell, to tell her how stupid she had been.

"We could have gotten off this island," she cried. "And now that chance is gone and it's my fault!"

"I wasn't there, but from what I heard it was Locke that blew up the submarine not you."

"If I had just listened to Jack, if I hadn't been so stupid…"

"You had no way of knowing," Sayid said. "For all you know he could have been hurt." Kate shook her head.

"Listen to me," Sayid said raising himself from the bed and kneeling in front of her. "This was not your fault. You were going on what you know, that these people have been hurting us since the moment our plane crashed here. There was no reason to believe that they would not have harmed him."

"I try so hard to help," Kate whispered. "And all I do is make things worse." He lifted her chin. He was looking at her so tenderly she wanted to weep.

"I wish I could give you my eyes right now," he said. She stared at him in confusion.

"I wish I could give you my eyes," he said again, "So that you could see yourself through them." She stared at him in wonder. God, if only she had met him five years ago her life would have been so different. If she'd had him to keep her grounded and tell her that none of it mattered. Not Wayne or Tom or her mother. If he'd been there to keep her grounded and make her believe she didn't have to run anymore. She slid from the bed and into his arms. She buried her face in his shoulder as he held her tight.

"Don't let go," she whispered.

"I am never letting you go," he promised. She smiled as he rubbed her back. She turned her head to kiss his neck and then down his chest. He allowed her to push him over onto his back. His smell was intoxicating and she wanted more. She lifted his shirt over his head and tossed it in a corner. Laying a hand over his heart she could feel the steady beat. She leaned over and crushed her mouth over his. God, she didn't think she'd ever get enough. He moaned as she kissed her way down his chest. She hesitated at the top of his pants. She could feel his desire for her.

"Oh God!" she heard him groan as she removed his pants in one swift tug and took him into her mouth. His hands fisted in her hair as she teased him licking and sucking and taking him higher until she felt he was close.

"Kate," he gasped, tugging on her hair. "I'm…" She smiled around him and continued.

"Aah!" he yelled out as he came. She kept him in her mouth until she had drunk up every last drop. She raised her head and crawled up until she was looking down into his face.

"You didn't have to…" she shushed him with a deep kiss. When they separated she started to pull away but he held her down. She smiled and stayed where she was.  
"Could we just stay like this for the rest of eternity?" she murmured into his chest.

"That would be nice," Sayid said. "But I think one of us is wearing too many clothes." She grinned and stood up. Slowly, seductively she unbuttoned her shirt taking her time with each button and then slowly sliding it off one shoulder and then the other. He chuckled.

"Why Miss Austen are you trying to seduce me?" he said. She laughed.

"Dustin Hoffman, The Graduate," she said.

"Anne Bancroft is nothing compared to you," he said taking her hand and kissing it. She trembled and he got to his knees and kissed her stomach. Her knees were shaking as he lowered her pants. He rose to his feet and swept her into his arms. She clung to his neck as he laid her down on the bed. He lay down beside her and rolled her onto her stomach. She buried her face in her arms as he ran his hands over her back rubbing and kneading out the kinks and knots that had formed after so many nights of sleeping on the ground. She let out a contented sigh as he massaged away a particularly bad knot.

"You could make a fortune doing this professionally," she purred.

"There is only one person I would do this for," he said kissing his shoulder. She let out a long groan of pleasure as he kissed his way down her spine. His hand moved into the space between her breast and the bed. She inhaled sharply as he kneaded her flesh. She arched her back so that he could take her full breast into his hand. She felt his hardness against her as he kneaded her breast. Kate smiled as she pushed herself against him, feeling a gush of moisture between her legs at the sensation of his chest against her bare back. She could feel his hardness pressing into her, demanding entry as his hips involuntarily thrust against her. His hand slid to the curve of her hip. She raised up onto her knees. She groaned as she felt him enter her.

"Oh God," she moaned as he slid from her and then pushed back in. His arm closed around her waist as he pounded into her. Christ, it felt amazing.

"Harder," she gasped. He pulled her up to a kneeling position. One handed kneaded her breast as the other moved between her legs. Had he not been holding onto her she was quite certain she would have collapsed from the sheer ecstasy that was crashed through her as his fingers dove deep inside her. She was close to the edge, she could feel it.

"Sayid!" she hissed. Her body exploded and stars danced in front of her eyes. He shouted as he climaxed and she felt him erupt inside of her. She collapsed onto to the bed with him on top of her. Her heart was pounding and she was panting heavily. The last thing she was aware of was a kiss against her sweaty shoulder and a deep voice whispering in her ear.

"I love you." Kate fell asleep with a smile on her face.

They did not emerge from her tent for several hours. They lay on their sides facing each other, their hands interlocked together.

"Do you trust Juliet?" she asked rubbing her thumb along his index finger.

"Absolutely not," he said pushing a lock of her hair away from her face.

"And Jack?" she asked lifting his hand and kissing his fingers. Sayid sighed.

"You and I Kate," he said. "We are cynical. We know the danger in trusting people. Jack, he is an idealist. He has to believe in the good in people. But he forgets that the Others have already planted one of their people among us once. He wants to believe that Juliet is on our side and that blinds him to the fact that it is just a little too convenient that she was left behind."

"Yeah," Kate said. She released his hand and moved closer to him so that her arm draped around his waist and her cheek was against his chest. He loved lying with her like this. It was so easy to pretend they were the only two people in the world.

"What are we going to do?" she asked.

"For now," he said with a sigh, "we try to find out as much as we can about her and just hope that Jack is right." She was running her hands over his ribs. She paused as her fingers brushed a scar on his left side just above his hip.

"How'd you get this?" she asked him. Lazily he brushed his hand across her back.

"Sniper's bullet," he said. "it came very close to my kidney. How did you get this?" He ran his fingers over a knotted scar at the small of her back.

"Knife wound," she said kissing the scar on his hip. "Bar outside of Tulsa. Playing pool with this drunk low life. Hundred bucks a ball. They didn't take kindly to losing."

"How did you escape?" he asked. She shrugged.

"Even the meanest toughest guy in the world will cry for his mama if you kick him in the right place," she said with a wicked little grin. Her hand trailed lower to demonstrate. He jumped a little as her hand closed around him. He took her hand and in one swift mood he rolled her over onto her back and lay over top of her.

"What about this one?" he asked. He ran the pad of his thumb ever so lightly over her breast. It was about an inch long. It was old, faded, barely noticeable. She shifted uncomfortably and looked away.

"If you don't want to tell me…"

"It was Wayne," she said. "He was trying to carve his name but he passed out before he finished the first letter. It was the first time he…I guess he thought it made me his or something. I was fifteen." He gently leaned down and kissed the scar. She trembled a bit. He wished he could have known her before she had gotten it. He would have protected her, and made sure that no one ever laid a hand on her.

"I will never hurt you Kate," he said staring into her eyes.

"I know," she said running a curl of his hair between her fingers. "You've made me feel safe from the moment I met you." He laughed.

"It's a bit ironic," he said. "Considering that when you met me I was being accused of causing the plane to crash." She giggled.

"Sawyer would probably beat you up again if he saw us like this," she said. He smiled.

"Considering he now has access to a gun, it is probably best we don't tell him."

"It's probably best we don't tell anyone," Kate said softly. He looked away for a moment. He didn't like the idea of secrets, and he really didn't want to keep the fact that she was his to himself.

"I'm not ashamed of what we have," she said quickly. "Hell I want to shout from the rooftops that your mine, but with everything that's going on, Juliet and all, I think it's just better if we keep it to ourselves." He felt as though his heart would burst with happiness.

'Your mine,' she had said. It was not 'I love you,' but it would do. He leaned down and kissed her.

"If that is what you want," he said. She smiled and turned on her side. He spooned up behind her and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear. She twisted her head around and kissed him hard.


	3. Chapter 3

Why Kate Wants Off the Island

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. If I did Ben would have been killed a long time ago

Chapter 3

Though her dislike of Juliet had her a bit on edge and there was still no news of Locke the next few weeks were some of the happiest she

had spent on this island. She and Sayid were nearly always together. They would wake up in each others arms, take walks on the beach

at sunrise, eat their meals together, bathe at the waterfall together, and sleep beside each other every night in one of their tents usually

after making love. In fact if it weren't for Jack and Sawyer life would be just about perfect. Jack, whenever he deigned to speak to her, was

annoyingly polite. Last night when he'd asked her for a spoon Kate was tempted to tell him to shove it up his ass. She hadn't of course,

she had merely handed him the spoon and then watched in disgust as he wondered over to Juliet's tent. Sawyer, typically, had taken

Jack's new relationship with Juliet as the opportunity to take up where Kate and he had left off. She and Sayid spent most of their nights in

his tent just in case Sawyer tried to pop in for a quickie before bed. Well she didn't care what Jack did anymore and Sawyer was just

gonna have to get his rocks off somewhere else. She had what she wanted. She saw him walking down the beach carrying firewood and

met his eye as he passed her. He gave her a nod and she gave him a small smile. They were always very careful not to be overly

affectionate in public. She was not ready for their relationship to be public. Relationship, she thought with a small twinge. As much as the

word scared her she had to admit that's what this was. It was not a fling, a one night stand, or an affair. What she felt for Sayid, she had

never felt for any other man she had ever met. She didn't know when it had started. She was in the middle before she knew she had

begun and she knew she didn't ever wanna go back. Sayid was the one she wanted to fall asleep beside every night and wake up with

every morning. He made her feel like she was special. When he told her he loved her she knew that he truly meant it. She had not said it

back yet, though she tried to show him. She didn't know why she couldn't say it. She did love him. She knew it. But saying the words…She

shook off her thoughts as Sun came to stand beside her.

"Good morning Sun," Kate greeted her.

"Good morning," Sun said. Kate looked at her friend. She had been acting a bit peculiar lately. Really since she had found out she was

pregnant but Kate had not questioned her. She figured that being pregnant in these circumstances was probably enough to make anyone

scared. Kate had not wanted to push her to talk if she did not want to.

"Can I talk to you?" Sun asked her suddenly. "Away from camp?"

"Of course," Kate said. She set her bowl down and followed the Korean woman to the far side of the beach. They sat down on the sand

and for a while Sun didn't speak just stared out at the ocean.

"You know how you told me a week ago that the others were doing research on pregnant women?" Sun asked.

"Yeah," Kate said. She had told Sun this in the hopes that she would stay away from Juliet.

"I asked her, Juliet, what happens to pregnant women on the island. I needed to know what would happen to me. She took me to one of

their medical stations, the one you and Claire went to when the baby was sick."

"There was nothing there," Kate said, confused.

"There was an exam room with a sonogram," Sun said firmly, "It was hidden. Anyway, she did an ultrasound of the baby. She was able to

confirm the date of conception."

"Was the baby born on the island?" Kate said.

"Yes," Sun said. "I was happy even though…before we got on the plane Jin and I were having problems. We'd been told by our doctor that

it would be impossible for us to have a baby. That Jin was sterile. We hadn't been… I had an affair." Kate nodded understanding.

"So when you found out you were pregnant," Kate said. "You didn't know if it was Jin's."

"Yes," Sun said smiling. "But it is Jin's. Juliet confirmed it."

"That's so great Sun," Kate said happily.

"I'm glad the baby's Jin's," Sun said quietly. "But Juliet also told me that the women who got pregnant on this island, they died."

"What?" Kate gasped.

"Most made it to their second trimester," Sun said sadly. "None of them made it to their third. Nine women and their babies."

"Oh God Sun," Kate said. "I'm so sorry." Sun shook her head.

"I have come to terms with it. I just don't know how I'm going to tell Jin. Juliet said she would do everything she could to help me." Kate's

stomach suddenly lurched. She placed her hand to her head as she did some quick calculating. Oh, God, she couldn't be. Could she? No,

no, no.

"Kate," Sun said touching her shoulder. "Are you all right?" Kate shook her head.

"I, uh, I'm fine," she lied. "Sun, I need a favor."

"Of course," Sun said. Kate's head was spinning. She felt sick, but she needed to keep focused. Losing it right now would not do her any

good.

"I need you to distract Jack," she said not meeting her friend's eye.

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Feeling like a thief Kate frantically dug through Jack's medical supplies looking for what she needed. She might of gone through Sawyer's

stuff but she knew that most of his stuff had been pillaged during their absence from camp. She sighed with relief when she found what

she was looking for. It was identical to the one Sawyer had given Sun.

"Someone was really hoping to get pregnant on this little trip," she thought to herself. She stuffed the test into her pocket and stepped

out of Jack's tent.

"Hey Kate." Kate nearly jumped out of her skin at the voice.

"Oh, uh, hi Hurley," she said trying to sound casual. She pushed the test deeper into her pocket. Of all the people she didn't want to know

what she was up to. If Hurley knew then it wouldn't be long before everyone knew.

"Whatcha doing in Jack's tent?" he asked. Kate swallowed.

"Just um, looking for some aspirin," she said.

"Cool," Hurley said and moved on. Kate breathed a sigh of relief. She glanced up and down the beach. Sun had Jack's full attention. She

had her hands over her stomach so she was probably talking to him about the baby. Kate took another look around for Sayid. She saw

him speaking with Bernard. Whatever they were talking about it seemed to occupy his full attention. There would be no better time to do

this. She grabbed a roll of toilet paper and headed off to the jungle. Finding a secluded spot she took a last look around her before she

opened the box. Once it was done she glanced around again.

"Jesus, Kate," she thought. "Peeing didn't used to be such a drama." She sat against a tree with the test in her hand. Ten minutes the box

said. She leaned her head back and tried to think of anything else. God, she didn't need this, not now, not with what Sun had just told

her. Dammit she and Sayid were happy! She glanced at her watch. It was taking forever. She was probably overreacting. She had been

late before. Heck, since being on the island her period had completely changed it's course. She used to bleed heavily for five days now she

would only bleed for one day, and just a little bit. Not that she minded all that much, since those four days were always torture. She

glanced at her watch again. Time was moving so slowly. She thought about Sun. She had seemed so calm when she had told her what

Juliet had said. Almost resigned to her fate. Could she be as brave if she were in fact in the same situation? Maybe if the circumstances

were different. Before Sayid she hadn't really cared if she lived or died. But now that she had found him, found a reason to live, she didn't

know what she would do. It was time. Taking a few deep breaths she looked down at the test. Her chest ached and she suddenly felt like

she couldn't breathe. Even through her scalding tears that were nearly blinding her she could see the plus sign.

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She wasn't sure how she made it back to camp, her mind was in such a complete fog. She was pregnant. She was carrying Sayid's child.

How could she let this happen? It wasn't like Sawyer didn't have a supply of condoms in his stash. Now she had signed her own death

sentence. She made it to the beach and went to her tent. She didn't want to talk to anyone right now. If anyone spoke to her she would

probably have a complete breakdown. She closed her tent and collapsed on her bed. She pulled her knees to her chest and closed her

eyes. She needed to think. Sun had said most of the women made it to their second trimester. She and Sayid had been together for

almost a month now. She couldn't be more than three weeks pregnant. So she had time. Who knew what could happen in the next few

months. They could be rescued! It was possible if not likely. She rubbed a hand over her stomach. How was she going to tell Sayid? With

everything so uncertain with Jack and the Others how could she lay this burden on him as well? She stayed in her tent for the rest of the

day. Claire came by to tell her dinner was ready, but Kate said she wasn't hungry. The young mother had sounded concerned when she

asked if she was all right and Kate hated lying to her. She was surprised Sawyer hadn't come by to try for a little afternoon delight. She'd

take her blessings where she got them. She could hear everyone outside, talking, going about their lives. She buried her head in her arms.

How could everyone just act like things were hunky dory when she was slowly dying. The light was fading outside her tent and she could

hear the sounds of camp settling in for the night. He would be here soon. She needed to pretend nothing was amiss. Until she figured out

exactly how to deal with this she could not tell him. She opened her eyes and sat up as she heard her tent flap being pulled back.

"Hey," she said softly. He knelt in front of her.

"You were not at dinner," he said softly cupping her face.

"I wasn't hungry," she said leaning into his touch.

"Is everything all right?" he asked. Kate stared at him. She had never lied to him until now.

"I'm fine," she said. "Come to bed." They undressed and got into bed together. She turned toward him and laid her head on his chest. He

wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. The sound of his strong heartbeat soothed her as she drifted off to sleep.

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Sayid was worried about Kate. He knew there was something bothering her but she would not tell him what it was. Her mind seemed to

be elsewhere most of the time, twice he had seen her crying which she had denied, and when they made love she seemed to cling to him

as though these moments were their last. He really wished she would confide in him. They never used to keep secrets from each other.

Even before they started sleeping together she told him everything. He wondered if that was it. Was she having doubts about them? No,

that was unlikely. She was so loving when she touched him and kissed him. She never seemed to want to let him go. He pushed his shovel

into the dirt and tossed it over his shoulder. Hard, sweaty labor was always good for clearing his head. Nothing like digging a big hole for

building up a sweat.

"Hey, dude," Hurley's voice came from behind him. He gritted his teeth. So much for quiet reflection.

"Hello Hurley," he said over his shoulder as he continued to shovel. After a minute he realized the big man was still there. He put his

shovel down and turned to him.

"Can you keep a secret?" Hurley asked him. Sayid thought a moment.

"_Well Hurley, I'm currently having a love affair with Kate and no one seems to have noticed so I would say yes." _He nearly laughed when he

thought about how Hurley would react if he said those words aloud.

"Of course," he said instead. Hurley shifted his feet.

"A couple days ago Desmond, Charlie, Jin and I found something, or rather someone." The man now had Sayid's full attention.

"Who?"

"A woman," Hurley said. "She kind of parachuted onto the island." Sayid's spine tensed. He remembered all too well the last time someone

had supposedly parachuted onto the island. That person had turned out to be Ben.

"You saw this happen?" he said.

"We heard a noise, like a helicopter or something and we heard a splash and then we saw this blinking red light. We found this woman up

in a tree. She was hurt pretty bad."

"Where is she now?"

"We snuck her back to camp," Hurley said. "We needed to tell someone we can trust." Sayid nodded. If they were telling him, that meant

that most likely Jack knew nothing about any of this. It seemed he and Kate were not alone in their distrust of their "leader."

"Take me to her," he said.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sayid held the satellite phone that Naomi had shown him. Her story was plausible, but he wasn't going to stake his life on it till he got this

thing working.

"Is that a radio?" Hurley asked. Sayid looked at the man patiently. He knew that Hurley was trying to help, but right now he was more of a

hindrance.

"It's like a radio yes. I've never seen equipment this sophisticated."

"But you can make it work right?"

"I hope so." This little phone could be the answer to all their prayers. After Charlie had informed him of the reappearance of the Russian,

who should be dead, he was more certain that getting off this island was of the utmost importance.

"What about the other part?" Hurley said. " You know how they found the plane and we're all dead." That did concern him. The best he

could come up with was that there had been a mistake. He didn't like to think about the other possibilities.

"One thing at a time," he said. He clicked the last wire into place and switched on the phone. He and Hurley both flinched as a high pitched

squawk followed by lots of beeps and static emitted from the phone. He pushed a few buttons trying to find a clear channel.

"There's not a single audible channel," he said in frustration.

"What's that? Is that a radio? Where'd you find it?" They both jumped. Kate was standing above them staring at the satellite phone.

"Uh we found it in the luggage," Hurley said quickly. Sayid rolled his eyes. Kate would never buy that. Kate turned to him and stared at him

hard. He knew that he could not keep this a secret from her.

"Kate," he said taking her hand and pulling her down to sit beside him. "What I am about to tell you must not tell anyone else.

"I promise," she said. Together he and Hurley told her about Naomi. Kate's eyes went wide when they told her about the boat.

"So if you could contact the boat," Kate seizing his hand. "We could get off the island?"

"Don't get too excited," Sayid said carefully holding up the phone. "Something is preventing the signal from coming through."

"What?" Kate said frantically. "Can you find out what's blocking it?"

"Perhaps," Sayid said watching her face. She was staring at the phone in his hand as though it were a priceless jewel. "But until I do, it

would be best if no one knows about this. Especially Jack."

"Agreed," Kate said.

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Sayid was more worried than ever. Something was wrong with Kate and she was keeping it secret from him. Her reaction to the satellite phone had him very concerned. Her eyes which had seemed so distant lately were suddenly so bright, so full of hope. Why was is so important to her that they get off the island, now? In the past when the possibility of rescue came up, she was always eager to help but nothing like this. After checking on Naomi he went looking for her. It was time to find out what was going on in her head. He saw her down the beach talking to Claire and walked in that direction.

"Hey, Sayid," a voice called softly. He turned. It was Sawyer. The man looked terrible, as though he'd been hiking through a swamp. His clothes were muddy and his feet were bare.

"What happened to you?"

"I was with Locke." Sayid's spine stiffened at the man's name.

"Well where is he?"

"He went back."

"Back where?"

"With them." Sayid opened his mouth but before he could ask the ten million questions that were in his mind Sawyer held up a hand.

"Don't ask me where the hell it is cause it don't matter. What does matter, is this." He held up a tape recorder. Sayid looked at him strangely. Sawyer looked at him pleading.

"Just listen to it man," he insisted. Sayid took the tape recorder and hit play.

"Ben, it's 6:30 in the morning," Juliet's voice said. "Kwon is pregnant. The fetus is healthy and was conceived on the island with her husband. He was sterile before they got here. I'm working on getting samples from the other women, I should have Austen's soon." Sayid shut off the tape recorder. Rage filled him so that he could barely see straight. He took a deep breath and forced himself to remain calm.

"Where did you get this?" he asked.

"Locke stole it from Ben," Sawyer said. "They been keeping it at one of their medical centers. Juliet is a plant."

"I knew it," Sayid said shaking his head. "I knew it was too convenient her being left behind."

"So what are we gonna do about it?" Sawyer said. Sayid stared at him hard.

"We are going to get answers from this woman," he said. "Once and for all. And this time, Jack will NOT interfere."


	4. Chapter 4

Why Kate Wants Off the Island

Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or it's characters

Chapter 4

Sayid threw back the flap of Juliet's tent. The Other was nowhere to be seen. He turned and saw Sawyer coming up behind him.

"No one's seen her," he said with a snarl.

"She's not here," Sayid said.

"Well where the hell is she?" Sawyer cursed.

"She's gone," Kate said coming up to them. Sayid was startled at her appearance. She looked pale, ill.

"Are you all right?" he asked her Juliet momentarily forgotten.

"I'm fine," she said a little too quickly.

"Where is she?" Sawyer demanded.

"She went somewhere with Jack," Kate said. "I don't know where. What's going on?" Sayid was thinking fast of what to do. There were too many things that were unknown right now. But one thing was certain; it was time for Naomi's presence to be made known to everyone else.

"Kate," he said. "I need you to gather everyone together. It's time to tell everyone about Naomi." Kate looked confused.

"Sayid…"

"Everything will be explained. Please, just get everyone together." Kate nodded and hurried away.

"What the hell is going on?" Sawyer demanded. "Who the hell is Naomi?" Sayid placed a hand on the man's shoulder.

"Come with me," he said. He led Sawyer over to the tent where Charlie and Hurley stood guard. The too men looked at Sawyer and then Sayid, questions in their eyes.

"It's all right," he assured them. They still looked uncertain but allowed Sawyer and Sayid into the tent.

"Well," Sawyer said. "What's this?" Naomi looked at Sawyer with narrowed eyes.

"This is Naomi," Sayid said. "She's our best chance of getting off this island."

"For God's sake Sayid," Desmond said in disbelief. "First Kate, now Sawyer. Why don't you just let the whole camp knows she's here?"

"That is precisely what I mean to do," Sayid said.

The camp's reaction to Naomi and the news that she brought them was of shock, disbelief and even anger. Sayid looked over at Kate. She met his eye for a moment then looked away. He wanted nothing more right now then to go to her and hold her but now was not the time.

"So the whole world thinks we're dead?" Claire said incredulously.

"That's not important right now," Sayid said.

"Not important?" Sun said indignantly.

"We were keeping Naomi a secret to keep her safe," Sayid explained. "From Jack." This declaration was met with looks of shock.

"He spent a week with the Others and brought one of them back. Here amongst us. And Everytime we try to get answers from this woman he prevents her from giving them."

"But it's Jack," Sun broke in. "He would never do anything to hurt us." Sayid shook his head in disbelief. How quickly these people forgot. Did they not remember Michael, and how after spending time with others he had returned and killed two women? Who really knew what kind of offer Jack might have been made?

"And Juliet," Sun continued, "I believe she's a good person." The look in Kate's eye said that she did not agree.

"Good person, huh?" Sawyer spoke up. "And what are you basing that on, Mrs. Kwon? Because she took you to one of their medical stations?" Sun opened her mouth but before she could say anything Sawyer pulled out the tape recorder and hit play. The shock, and disbelief that had been on everyone's face suddenly turned to fear. Sayid felt that same stiffness in his spine as her heard Kate's name mentioned again .

"Where'd you get that?" They all turned and saw Jack coming up to them with Juliet beside him. Sayid glared at the doctor.

"Where have been Jack?" he asked keeping his voice calm.

"I asked where you got it," Jack said. The man actually had the nerve to look angry.

"You think you're in a position to be asking US questions?" Sawyer said, challenge in his voice.

"Turn the tape over," Juliet said in that annoyingly calm voice of hers.

"Stay out of it," Sawyer snapped at her.

"You wanna burn me at the stake here I am," her voice still annoyingly calm. "But first turn the tape over, press play." Sawyer looked at her in disgust but her expression did not change. Sawyer looked at him and he nodded. Sawyer flipped over the tape and hit play.

"Juliet it's Ben," Sayid shuddered as he heard the man's voice. "I'm sending three teams to extract Kwon the day after tomorrow…" Sun looked terrified and the rest of the camp was gasping and muttering. "We won't have time to run samples but you determine that Austen or anyone else is pregnant, mark their tents and we'll take them too. Good luck." Sayid's fists clenched at his sides. He would kill this man.

"The night I saw your baby on the ultrasound," Juliet was speaking. "I told Jack what they were making me do."

"And why didn't you tell us?" Sayid demanded. He was not so prepared to accept Jack back as leader.

"Because I hadn't decided what to do about it yet," Jack said.

"Yet?" Sayid said. If Jack had a plan to keep them all safe he would be more than willing to go along with it. But first he wanted answers. Jack sighed.

"I think we got some catching up to do," Jack said.

"Well let's get to it," Sawyer said aggressively. Jack shook his head.

"Not now," Jack said. He held up his hand to silence the protests.

"Look," he said. "You've all earned the right not to trust me. But I'm asking you to believe me when I say that I'm not going to let anything happen to anyone here. Tomorrow, I will show you my plan. Everyone get some sleep, we leave at first light." The crowd began to break up and disperse. Sayid looked over at Kate who had not moved from the place where she stood. He expected to see anger or even disgust in her face. What he saw shocked him to the core. Terror, sheer terror was in her eyes. He had never seen her like this. He waited till most everyone had moved out of earshot and he went to her. She jumped as he touched her shoulder.

"What is wrong?" he asked her softly. She turned to him and he was startled to see the tears in her eyes.

"Kate," he said softly. "Please tell me what you are thinking right now." She bit her lip and sighed.

"Come to my tent," she said and without waiting for him she walked away. After a moment he followed her. He glanced around to make sure no one was looking his way and stepped into her tent. She was on her knees rummaging in her bag for something.

"Kate," he said softly. She held up her hand and he did not say anything more. He waited while she found what she was looking for. She pulled something small out of her bag. He could not see what it was. She slowly stood up and held out her hand. In her palm was a small pink stick. He did not have a lot of experience with this sort of thing, but he could wager a guess what it was. He carefully took it from her and looked at it closely. The light was dim but he could just make out the small plus sign. His heart froze. He stared at her, the question he needed to ask was in his mind but he could not make himself ask it.

"I got my period the day after Sawyer and I were together. That was the last time I got it," she said as though she sensed what was on his mind.

"It's almost ironic," she said laughing a little. "Considering what Juliet and the Others had in store for me." She took his hand and placed it on her stomach.

"This is our baby, Sayid," she said softly. He didn't know what to say. He just stood there with his hand on her stomach, where the child, his child was growing.

"How…" he said barely recognizing his voice, "how long have you known?" he asked her.

"A couple days," she said.

"Why did you not tell me sooner?" he asked. She looked away.

"I hadn't figured out how to tell you," she said running a hand over her eyes.

"Have you told anyone else?" he asked. She shook her head. He took her shoulders and sat her down on the bed.

"Listen to me," he said. "I know you are frightened. But I will not let the Others get anywhere near you and the baby. I don't know what Jack's plan is, but I promise you I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe." Kate looked up at him.

"You really do love me don't you?" she said, her voice strangled. He pulled her against him and held her tight.

"I have loved you from the moment I first saw you," Sayid said against her hair. "And I will love you till I draw my last breath upon this earth." She buried her face in his neck and cried.

"I won't let anything happen to you Kate," he said rubbing her back. She pulled away and stared at him, her eyes sad and far away.

"Kate," Sayid said a terrible thought occurring to him suddenly. "You do want this baby don't you?"

"Of course," she said. "Of course I do."

"Kate, please," he said pushing her hair away from her face. "Tell me what's wrong." She let out a sigh of anguish.

"When Juliet took Sun to the medical station, it was to confirm the date of conception. Sun needed to know if her baby was conceived on the island, because all the women who got pregnant on the island died. They got sick in the middle of their second trimester, and they slipped into a coma and died. The babies too." Sayid felt his heart drop into his stomach. That was why she had been so upset these last few days. It all made sense now. An overwhelming fear clutched him. She was dying. Kate was dying.

"Sayid," Kate said clutching his hand. "We have to get off this island! I don't want to die. I don't want our baby to die."

"Then we will," he said firmly. "I will find out what is blocking the signal on the satellite phone. I will make it work." He cupped her face in his hands and stared into her eyes.

"I will get you off this island," he said with everything in him. "I'm not going to lose you. You or our baby." She threw her arms around his neck.

"I'm so scared, Sayid. I'm just so scared."

"I know," he said stroking her hair. "I am too." He held her until she fell asleep. Once her eyes were closed and her breathing steady he got to work on the satellite phone. It was now more urgent then ever that he make this work. Now that there was so much riding on his success. The lives of the woman he loved and his unborn child depended on his success.


End file.
